people often say what we don't know won't hurt us.
people also say that you're lucky if you realize early enough and get out of an emotional turmoil before it makes you miserable forever.

i think i was trying to figure out what i want. or at least i thought i'd like to know that i have tried and know what it's like.

but i don't want it anymore. everytime i think i can try, i get myself burnt. and it's not so great, you know?
actually, it hurts much more, not knowing what the h**l this is all about. and in my entries just a few months back i did say that i was going to pick up my feet and walk away. but it always get tricky.. things can be so manipulated. and i hate it. until i see this person again a couple days back. and verified my final theory last night.

so after knocking myself in the head i am finally walking away. i must find strength to be firm in what i believe in.
i can do without replying the sms or answering the phone calls that are anyway, too bizarre.

on how i deal with it when the person is in the building soon, i won't even think about it now. i have done my part to help this person to move to kl office and listen to all the crappy transfer stories... but that' s about all i might be willing to help.

to my dear friends who have been listening to my whining, i'd like to say thanks so much :) and i know you're pleased that i finally get some senses into me.

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tomorrow will be our alam's 100th convo...and i'll be there looking at marketing merchandises for their koperasi...reminds me of my days as "lembaga pengarah koperasi" at sriAman..hehe.

have a good weekend. may you find what your heart seeks.